This situation must be incredibly stressful, I’m so sorry. I am a teacher at a school for children with mental health challenges and work with kids with extreme behaviors. In order to stay calm and effective, I do several things. One is to take a magnesium supplement, and also a B complex vitamin (I like Nature Valley Stress B complex, I really feel more energized and in a better mood when I take it). Another really important thing for me is morning meditation. I don’t know whether it’s possible for you to take 15-20 minutes for yourself in the morning. Many times I listen to guided meditations that are free on YouTube, there are so many to choose from.

I agree with many of the other commenters that therapy for yourself would probably be helpful.

Re: your daughter, I’m sure her team is working hard. It sounds like there may be a processing issue or undiagnosed trauma. You might want to consider adding EMDR (it would not replace the other therapies). This is just a thought, EMDR a relatively new therapy and not all mental health professionals see it as valid. Again, just a thought. Best wishes!